and after a lot of episodes, I've fixed the thing.
please let me state this again: I HAVE.
I.
Not the HPE support, not the reseller tech support.
I HAVE.
I = An almost idiot ex-embedded sw developer illogically cast into the sysadmin role of a non-sense company!
TL; DR:
there was a mismatch between OS version, bios version, controllers firmware version, controller drivers version. Selecting the right combination has (apprarently) fixed the issue!
how storage controllers affect reboot signals is still a mistery... but actually all was related to the smart paging I mentioned before. Moving it from the default location caused all the issues.
I have discovered the "bug" recreating a new vm with copy-pasted hdd but with hypervisor defaults... 2 twins VM one running one not... only difference: location of the smart paging file. XD